I am approaching 50 years of age and engage in sedentary activities for both my profession and primary pastime, hence I am uncertain whether hubristic delusion influenced my actions. A buddy said, "Do not schedule yoga when you are feeling energetic," but it was too late. “It resembles visiting the supermarket while famished.” I attribute the blame to TikTok. I became phrazle overconfident after successfully executing the "shrimp stand-up" I saw there (where one balances on one foot while rising from a  kneeling position, using the other leg) and determined I was prepared for more challenging physical endeavors. Was it a little midlife crisis? A dissociative experience?

I have indeed longed to be extricated from my body several times in the previous five weeks. The class was conducted with kindness and safety, and the participants were kind; yet, it was undeniably intense—one lady sustained bleeding from her elbows—and I felt somewhat out of my depth. Preparatory exercises had me floundering ineffectually, like to a sheep ensnared in a gate, but the complete posture (a handstand supported by the forearms – I am aware!) seemed as attainable as unaided flight. I was unable to adequately support the more robust and flexible participants: I consistently oriented myself incorrectly and grasped the inappropriate components.

My disposition was inferior to my shoulder strength. I detest my incompetence, and the first week plunged me into a profound, childish pout. I missed week two, began week three with a sense of dread, and concluded in tears of frustration. During the fourth week, I exhibited a defeatist attitude, lamenting my inability to succeed. “Emma, you are once more directing that gaze towards me,” the instructor said. I was indeed.

I forced myself to attend the last session with enthusiasm, justifying that persevering to the conclusion would constitute a kind of accomplishment. Subsequently, can you conjecture what occurred? No, clearly I have not mastered the forearm stand; I still like a sheep at a fence. However, a sheep that may perhaps arrive to that point given time and experience. I have gained insight into the importance of exhibiting humility, which may surpass the value of any asana.